~The insights of crappy Jasmine gal~

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Something to think about

Today is so packed.. went for SBM Day and got a silver award for contribution to NYP-SBM... So lame... Joycelyn and i was so bored that we took photos of the slip with our names. Then need to rush to do SP presentation after that... Glad to say that it is finally over and think will get B ba cos the judges are quite happy. Hee~~ Lastly, went to work at Popular... so tiring... in fact, i'm yawning right now.. but still need to study for tomorrow's test.. WHAT TO DO??? AHHHhhhhhhh....

Was looking at my friend, Joycelyn's blog just now... She posted a very very LONG post yesterday... She shared her views on how women need to be independant as men just cannot be depended upon... Personally, i totally agreed with her as the men in my family are all cannot make it.. one fine example is sitting behind, reading newspaper and crapping rubbish... That example is my beloved dad... I mean i like him but he's nothing.. all he has is that mouth, can only crap when problems arose.. Not only him, but my aunts' husbands are either good but shortlived person or someone who gambled a lot... It seem that the women in my mom's family are ill-fated...

But my dad really affected me a lot.. he wasn't like this in the past. I heard my mom told me he is a very sensitive and caring husband who will boil tonic for my mom during her pregnancy with my brother. But everything changed when she got pregnant with me... Somehow, i felt that i am a jinx... my dad turn bad, my grandmother died 3 weeks after my birth. i dont dare to like anyone because in the end, i will be hurt. Anyone who is good will still turn bad ah... Only consolation is that my brother is a good guy, just too da nan ren at times... Really idolize my brother cos he got his plans laid out already while i am still struggling with my thoughts...

Basically, i am a very fickle person (as mentioned in previous post), i can never make up my mind on things. If i had to choose a or b, and i choose one, i will be constantly thinking what if i had chosen the other option.. this is bad as i can never decide on things.. Anyway, back to the guy issue, i want to find someone like my brother... Too bad he is my REAL brother, otherwise i confirm, guranteed, plus chop chop will fall in love with him... haha.. it really tells u that guys this day cannot make it.. i rather chose my bro than other guys.. wahaha... pathetic~~ If a guy can get me to fall in love with him, he is God le (no insult intended).. Anyway, good guys are rare and most are not my taste.. Hmph~~ that's all for today... quite a long one le..

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