I quit

I met Colleen for lunch today at the Subway at Robinson Road.. Then meet some barflies for a while, chatted a bit only cos they need to go back to work..

I told my boss i want to quit liao.. finally just working for one fucking week.. i think i win liao.. I dont know why i am like that.. but i really dont see myself in the line in the LT... So what i can earn lots of money.. i dont really value money a lot.. at most i eat shit for the rest of my life loh (got shit-eating job?)

My boss talked to me for 3 hours.. and i admitted i was moved a bit (AGAIN!?!) Why cant i stick to what i decided? If i did, then i never will have took the 2 tests and now in this dilemma and i may have found a decent job by now..

Sometimes, i looked at myself and i concluded that i am a fucking asshole, bloody piece of shit.. i dont have responsibilty, i dont feel, i am nothing.. i hate being nothing but i do nothing to change my nothing state.. Why?

My boss is right when he said that i am young so my heart is still not stable.. Yea, i want to do other things.. i dont want to be struck here.. in fact, if can l want to go out of Singapore to explore life.. Recently, i formed thoughts to go to Third World countries.. Of cos it is not encouraged by some.. Blah, not even sure i will do it or how.. Maybe my life will just be spent doing the same work all my life?

I dont know i dont know.. cant think now.. tired tired..

I went Yishun to make my contact lenses this evening.. went to the shop Felicia frequent.. quite cheap loh.. $120 for 7 pairs (monthly) with astigmatism.. And i did a crazy thing.. I was rushing for the Mrt and the doors were closing and i just run in.. First time i did such thing.. in the past, i will always say those ppl who did that is crazy cos they may be hurt if caught between the doors.. but today, i did the same thing.. i must be going mad...

My body is going crazy on me too.. i keep wanting to vomit.. Before eating, want to vomit.. After eating, want to vomit.. This is so half-pregnant.. got sickness but no baby..

I must give my answer to my boss tomorrow liao and i got an email from another company asking me to call them to arrange for interview for HR post.. Is this a sign?