Death....

I hate to go to the hospital because i always had a weird feeling when i am there.. It smelt too much of death and pain.. But today, i had to go to the hospital. Because today, my grandmother passed away..

The sky seemed to be crying for her as it rained and rained... I strolled in the rain when i was going to the hospital.. i didnt know the news then but as the raindrops fell onto me, i felt sad...

6 years ago, we sent away my grandfather in this very hospital.. 6 years later, we sent away my grandmother, who had choked on her lunch... I cant say that i am very upset.. my eyes are dry.. I seemed to be void of any feelings.. Maybe it is better for her to go than suffer in this cruel world...

My cousin wondered whether it is because my grandfather had came to visit her during the 7th month and decided to take her with him.. I hope that is the case and that she is really with him now... I hope she is happy, wherever she might be at...

What is death? Is it a release from pain? When is it my turn?