The puking day

I puked twice today..

The first time was in the morning, when i finished the half cup of McDonald kopi-o (that tasted like dishwasher water, only more bitter) after my hotcakes and hashbrown.. I tried to hold it in, but my mom asked me to just let it out... So i did.. Half of it went out and i can taste the hashbrown... I hope something still managed to stay inside though (but i guess not, since i was hungry at 9plus and needed to munch on biscuits)..

Then it was a lousy lunch and then as my department had a seminar today, we had refreshments at 4pm... I ate so much fishballs that i got sick again.. And out came the fishballs and maybe some eclairs too (cos i can taste it when they came out.. yucks).. Not everything is gone though cos I still feel fairly full.. The afternoon puke is good.. Got control..

I hate myself.. what is my body doing or trying to tell me?? I cant get it.. I simply cant...