~The insights of crappy Jasmine gal~

Friday, June 05, 2009

A dream 一个梦

今天早上做了一个梦。

梦里,我还是中学生。而我的华文作文竟得了全班第一,不过也只是66.16%,比第二名多了0.03% 罢了。(心想:我的梦也太仔细了吧!!) 每个人都在作文的后面写上对老师的谢意,只有我还没写。就在我努力的写着时,华文老师竟然就坐在我的旁边,隔着一段距离,想偷看我在写什么。(心想:明明他收了卷子就能读了啊,偷看什么啊?) 而我也真能写。写完半张纸,还拿出另一张继续写。

接着我就醒了。奇怪的是华文老师的样子明明是我的英文老师阿。还有总觉得在梦里,老师和我的关系有一点暧昧,不是普通的老师和学生的关系。不过现实生活中,我可没这样喔。记得中学时是有几位欣赏和敬仰的男老师,不过却从没想过"师生恋"这玩意。也许是当时太理智了,也或许是因为我早已把心给了中一的一位男同学。反正我也没漂亮到让老师对我下手啦。

那我为什么会做这个梦呢? 我也不知道。也许老了,想要开始任性,开始叛逆。只因为年轻时,从不敢冒险。 总觉得时间不多了,再不做就没机会了。

你也有这样的感觉吗?

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I have a dream this morning.

In the dream, I was still a Secondary School student. The whole class just received our Mother Tongue composition papers back and I actually received the highest marks. But the mark is actually only 66.16%, winning the second place holder by 0.03% only (I wonders why the dream is so specific).

Everyone wrote their thoughts and gratitude to the Mother Tongue teacher on last page of the paper. I was the only one still trying to write out mine. As I was writing, the teacher was sitting in the seat in another row, just next to me, trying to peek at what I was writing (I thought it is weird for him to be doing this since the papers would be collected back by him for him to look through). I was so bent on writing all my thoughts and feelings that I actually finished half a page. I even took out another new paper to continue writing.

Then I woke up. The strange thing is that the Mother Tongue teacher I saw in the dream was my English teacher in the school days. In the dream, there seemed to be a ambiguous relationship between the two of us, unlike the normal teacher-student relationship.

In reality, this is not the case. Although there are some male teachers that I admired and respected during my school days, I have never thought of doing the unthinkable and getting into a romantic relationship with a teacher. It could be due to the fact that I am too logical. Or that I have already given my heart to a Secondary One classmate. Anyway, I am not so gorgeous that any teacher will risk trying to woo me.

So what is the reason for the dream to occur? Frankly, I have no idea. Maybe it is because I am not getting young anymore and I wish to be more willful and rebellious. Probably because I never dare to take any risks when I was young and I feel that time is running out. If I do not dare to do anything now, I may never have the chance in the future.

Do you have such feelings as well?

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