~The insights of crappy Jasmine gal~

Saturday, July 30, 2005

I got it!!!

The recruitment officer called me to offer me the job.. Yeah!!! I am getting $1*** per mth instead of the $1200 i quoted.. Maybe they were hoping that i wont go and get a part time job in addition.. But then hor, i still need more money loh.. so i probably looked for one when i had adapted to the new work environment.. heehee...

My mom said i am crazy and that she rather i used the time to pick up a new skill... The thing is pick up skill also need money loh.. I realised i dont have a lot of money for shopping in Bangkok.. haha.. dont know why i even want to go.. :p

Graduation Ceremony

I remember there are ppl who told me before that they like to read my blog cos it is those very happy type (i think they said happy.. cant recall ;p). I apolognised that there seemed to be many angry and confused posts lately.. Cos my mind is not straight mah.. think everything will be better soon.. More cheerful and childish posts soon :p

Today is my graduation ceremony day.. Supposed to get out of house by 7.15am since i am meeting my gals at 8.15am, yio chu kang mrt station.. Alamak.. I woke up at 7.20 loh.. Have to rush and rush.. bathe, get my stuff... all in 15 mins time.. Didnt even wear the contact lenses cos very hard to put in.. (very kancheong so a bit hard to concentrate..)

Meet Audrey on the train (actually i missed a few trains while waiting for her).. Arrived in school at 9am and there are still students coming in so not really considered late.. Went to the ladies to do my make-up..

Ceremony is boring.. I apolognize to the special guest(the head of Sports Council, i think) for sleeping during your speech.. i believe i nod off when u start quoting some reference to the speech by ex-CEO of Apple.. cos your speech is so not as interesting as his..

Took off my specs when i went up to take my cert cos i want to look nicer for the photos ( i will post them up when i received it from the mail, if it is nice :p).. So scared i will trip.. hee.. Then got a guy and a gal singing "Flying without wings".. The guy sounded horrible.. Got my yearbook.. ok only loh..

My Yearbook...

My cert..

After that, was photo-whoring time with friends for me..(photos with friends..will post when i got them). Looked for Ms Chia to pass her the present we bought in Bugis Seiyu.. She is almost 7 mths pregnant but looked like 4mths only loh...her stomach is so small... i got go and touched her stomach.. round round one.. hee.. i ask her is it because boy boy got that thing, so stomach will be sharper but gal gal dont have so stomach rounder.. And i got scolded for thinking so dirty... got meh? me just curious mah..

After that, went to PS with Matt and Doreen... We went to Long John Silver to eat first while waiting for Karen to join us for eating and shopping..

Karen arrived only after we had finished eating so she skipped the meal and we went shopping.. Shopped from B1 to Level 3.. Only Matt bought something.. he bought a necklace($28) for his gf.. the thing is the necklace he bought is the one i bought for Christine last year.. heehee.. just different colour.. :p

Then we went arcade and played Photohunt 4 times (and lost all 4 times!!).. Then walked to Heeren to shop shop.. Nothing to buy.. but i met Xiuxian, Zuxian and Vanessa there.. haha.. then we walked over to Taka to find Fujie to pass him his class photo and yearbook.. he treated Matt and me bubble tea.. Doreen and Karen too paiseh to accept his treat and so they paid for their own.. Yes, i am bad, thick-skinned.. i dont care.. if u say want to treat, i will accept one cos can save money.. i am such a person..

After that, we four went to Kinokuniya while Fujie went back to work.. Got tempted by the books there.. cannot buy.. must bear with it... Went to eat dinner at Mos Burger.. more like snacks cos we all are very full already from the bubble tea..

Walked to wisma and continued shopping cos Doreen is not satisfied that she had bought nothing.. Finally, we three gals found something we like in Pepper Plus.. Doreen bought a top($22) that she looked nice in, Karen bought a top($20) that she looked nice in, i bought a skirt ($26) that i looked nice in (of cos looked nice lah.. if not buy for what.. :p)..

Here's the pic of my new skirt..

Nice hor.. Anyway, went to a few more shops before we called it a day.. Actually, i was supposed to meet Adrian and rest at Sentosa at 6plus.. cos we are planning to stay there overnite in a tent, just the of us.. but me too tired so bait out.. Later then i know that Rong hwee and Weiren only arrived after 1am.. so late.. poor Adrian was drinking on his own.. Anyway, he dont blame me and said that gal gal should not stay out late (Typical MCP!!).. Ok.. tired.. Nitey~~

Thursday, July 28, 2005

I went jogging...

Slept at 2 plus but woke up at 6am cos i cant sleep properly.. So i don on my running outfit (t-shirt, shorts and sport shoes :p) and went for a jog..

It had been almost 6 months since i last ran.. I feel alien.. did some stretching and then just slowly jog to warm up my body.. Mom and brother (ya.. they are early risers :p only me is lazybone) suggested i run to the nature park at Bukit Batok since there are lots of ppl there every morning..

Since i never jogged to there before (usually jogged around the estate only), i decided to take up their suggestion.. so i jogged and jogged.. Legs are doing well since they had endured my torture for 6 years already (Hey, i was an athlete loh.. dont play play ah..).. but my lungs are dying.. Breathe so hard after a while...

Jogged till i reached some lake in the nature park then u-turn and went home.. there are a lot of ppl outside at the bus stops already, waiting for the bus to arrive to go to work or school.. My mind is still not straightened out but it was refreshing to jog.. Maybe i should start up this habit again.. Getting fat mah so need the exercise.

Arrived home and did some cooling down exercise.. then rest and eat breakfast.. At 8.15am, i called up the company to arrange for an interview.. Dont even know what industry the company is in.. Scheduled the interview at 10am.. The company is so near that i just need 15 mins to walk there from my home..

The interview is okay.. cant comment much cos it was my FIRST interview mah.. i was first interviewed by the recruitment officer who just asked about the more basic questions.. then need to wait for a while for the HR manager and training officer to interview me together.. I was nervous, forget to bring pen somemore and need to borrow one to fill up application form.. did that make me look incompetent?

Left alone in the room till i am bored and staring into space.. even went to adjust aircon temp cos it was sooooo cold...After ten minutes, the manager and training officer finally came into the room...i know from the interview that the hr asst post need to do a lot of recording and follow up... also need to do reception work from time to time.. The manager asked me whether i am scared off.. haha.. it's okay for me..

Asked me what is the future i visioned.. of cos i didnt say that i didnt vision not staying long in the company.. only said that i want a degree in HR (yes i lied) and then proceeded to be a specialist in HRD or HRM.. Asked why i chose HR, i said it is because i like to interact with ppl.. and can see from my past work as waitress and retail asst that i like to be able to service ppl (half true.. chose it cos i dont like the other choices and hr seemed to be more versatile)..

The last question by the training officer is a killer.. i think he was asking whether i will like the work/line because i really need to focus on it.. i didnt lie and say that i will confirm stay in this job, this line cos i dont even know anything about it.. That why i want the chance to learn more about HR work and then decided whether i will love it. I know that it is a risk to answer like that, almost like that i may just leave the company so they may be at risk for hiring me, not knowing when i will resign...

Overall, my performance is a bit shaky lah.. i actually put expected salary as $1200 cos i dont dare to expect much loh.. And i wonder if they are shocked by my appearance since the photo in my resume is this...

But i went there looking like this...

Ahh.. why my hair forever so messy ah.. dont know.. :p Anyway, i suddenly realised when i got back home that i let them photocopied my transcript which had all my results and THE THING IS I GOT C FOR ALL MY THREE HR MODULES LOH.. Hopefully they can see my potential ( i got mah?)

Went to Yishun to collect my contact lenses then rushed to chinatown to meet friends.. Actually wanted to take cab but i keep reminding myself that i am a poor gal now so CANNOT.. We four gals are planning to go Bangkok for a short break, that's why went to Chinatown.. At first, i didnt want to go since i dont have much cash and i was starting work then.. Now, i found that i had enough cash (barely made it though :p) from working at Popular last month.. so i decided to join them.. It was 284 for free-and-easy from next wed to sun... (leave at wed nite and come back sun afternoon). Then went to sing at Partyworld in Chinatown.. There are two cuties there leh.. hee..

As i want to save money on cab fare, i had to join my friends for supper.. Jocelyn (she is actually Xiaxue's cousin) got to know a SAF regular, who got a car.. Meeting him the first time so we decided to go eat supper first then asked him drive us home (it will be rude to just ask him to send us home mah.. like treating him as chauffeur, even though he really is lah..) Went to the Cheese Prata shop in pasir panjang (near NUS) to eat loh.. ok loh..not really very special lah.. haha.. then finally reached home at 2plus..

Oh, got something from the mail this afternoon.. was wondering what it was cos i havent not been ordering anything online recently (in case you are wondering, i dont buy a lot of things online one hor..) And discovered that it is from Karen, one of my granddaughter.. She actually sent me a bag of plums.. those purple, not-so-sweet types..

As i had mentioned to friends and in my previous post that i had been feeling nauseous, Karen asked me to buy the purple plums to eat but i was a bit blur blur on which to buy so i didnt buy any and just let it be.. Who will have thought that she will actually buy it for me and mailed to me.. so sweet of her..

Karen dear, thank you so much.. Although it is a bit exaggerated (mailing it to me when u can meet me to pass me :P), but i am really touched.. I dont deny that it is friends like you that keep me going and am still in this world (yes, i entertain suicide thoughts once in a while)..

Thanks for everyone who give me advice and encouragement, as i had decided to quit the financial advisor work regardless whether the interview works out.. i believed i can find another position easily.. At most go back restaurant and work as waitress also can mah..

To friends who asked me to stay on, thanks but i think i will probably go back this line as a part-timer in 2-3 years time.. so dont worry, i will sure haunt you then... Anyway, i still finding my life and passion.. Let nature takes its course :p

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

I quit

I met Colleen for lunch today at the Subway at Robinson Road.. Then meet some barflies for a while, chatted a bit only cos they need to go back to work..

I told my boss i want to quit liao.. finally just working for one fucking week.. i think i win liao.. I dont know why i am like that.. but i really dont see myself in the line in the LT... So what i can earn lots of money.. i dont really value money a lot.. at most i eat shit for the rest of my life loh (got shit-eating job?)

My boss talked to me for 3 hours.. and i admitted i was moved a bit (AGAIN!?!) Why cant i stick to what i decided? If i did, then i never will have took the 2 tests and now in this dilemma and i may have found a decent job by now..

Sometimes, i looked at myself and i concluded that i am a fucking asshole, bloody piece of shit.. i dont have responsibilty, i dont feel, i am nothing.. i hate being nothing but i do nothing to change my nothing state.. Why?

My boss is right when he said that i am young so my heart is still not stable.. Yea, i want to do other things.. i dont want to be struck here.. in fact, if can l want to go out of Singapore to explore life.. Recently, i formed thoughts to go to Third World countries.. Of cos it is not encouraged by some.. Blah, not even sure i will do it or how.. Maybe my life will just be spent doing the same work all my life?

I dont know i dont know.. cant think now.. tired tired..

I went Yishun to make my contact lenses this evening.. went to the shop Felicia frequent.. quite cheap loh.. $120 for 7 pairs (monthly) with astigmatism.. And i did a crazy thing.. I was rushing for the Mrt and the doors were closing and i just run in.. First time i did such thing.. in the past, i will always say those ppl who did that is crazy cos they may be hurt if caught between the doors.. but today, i did the same thing.. i must be going mad...

My body is going crazy on me too.. i keep wanting to vomit.. Before eating, want to vomit.. After eating, want to vomit.. This is so half-pregnant.. got sickness but no baby..

I must give my answer to my boss tomorrow liao and i got an email from another company asking me to call them to arrange for interview for HR post.. Is this a sign?

I dyed back the top of my hair to black cum brown colour.. more suitable for me.. maybe i will go for highlights next month.. :p

Was drinking with Adrian again last nite.. he always drank with me when he quarrelled with his gf.. i cannot take it liao and asked him to make a choice.. Either he break up and find someone new in his poly in the future or stick to his current gf and bear with it.. Dont keep being so stressed cos in the end, he will be the one suffering (my ears also suffer :p)..

I found that i am a good listener.. can listen and listen.. just dont ask me to comment back can liao.. me silent listener...

Just a thought i had long ago... there are those who always said that it is wrong to abort a child cos the child is not given the right to choose whether he/she can live or not.. Then let me ask you back.. what about those who is living? Did they asked to live? Maybe they know the world is a damn evil place and dont want to come out? Why nobody give them any choice? Why?

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Dont know why so many ppl want to see pics of my dyed hair.. can only say that it was a failed process cos i only got gold (Yea!!! GOLD!! was expecting only brown) hair at the top to the forehead but the rest remained sinfully black.. This tell u not to do DIY when u dont know a thing.. haha.. Never mind loh.. must live with it.. Ehh.. how long can i go and dye my hair again.. i want to dye it brown liao.. and at a salon this time...

Nah.. not very obvious in the pic but super obvious in real life..

And i wake up this morning and found my forehead with a dark area.. dont know why leh.. mommy asked me to go pray at temple and get some ash to rub forehead.. Hmm..

Tired and tired with life.. dont know why.. i am so fickleminded.. why ah... i dont know..

I went to Sentosa with Karen, Adrian, Rong Hwee and Weiren (new friend).. Cos Adrian want to book a chalet.. Reached there, it started to rain damn heavily.. so sianz.. pass the time by reading my novel and comic book.. Karen read her novel...the rest walked here and there..

Finally, the rain reduced to just drops... and we walked to the NTUC resort.. Of cos the result was bad.. the place is fully booked for friday and saturday.. too bad loh.. Really must used a tent on friday liao...

Then walked around Sentosa and also went to 7-11 and get a drink.. i drank vodka ice.. the guys were playing Big 2 to pass time since it was raining AGAIN.. The finally we left at 7.30pm when the rain lessened.. Went to the hawker centre and share some food before we all headed home.. Karen took 80 home to sengkang.. while poor little me had to endure a long bus trip with the 3 guys who still continued the card game on the bus.. and i was bullied by Rong Hwee constantly.. sob sob..

Monday, July 25, 2005

I dye my hair

I dye my hair.. i dye my hair.. i dye my hair.. but hor the colour dont come out in the lower parts..

I drink thailand beer.. i drink thailand beer.. i drink thailand beer.. Think it is called Singha and i am dead tired now..

Right leg collapsed.. time for bed..

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Zpop Concert 2005

A great THANKS to Barffie for giving me 4 tixs to the Zpop Concert 2005.. it was very nice to be able to go to it as it was my first time going to a Zpop Concert.. (Yea, i had no life in the past..)

Supposed to go to her office at International Plaza to take the tixs from her but blur little one heard wrongly that it was in suntec.. was still wondering when did her office changed location.. :p Anyway, went from suntec mall to international plaza then back again..

Since there was time before my friends arrived, i went to Millenia walk and finally get to see the chocolate shop that was featured in tv before.. really got a lot of chocolates..

This is the mix and match section.. Chocolates are $3.80 for 100g and Gummy sweets are $2 per 100g

My ah gal, Karen arrived first but then she went to accompanied her friend to eat cos the other ah gal Audrey want to eat long john silver so i went to join her and chengying... By the time, we finished eating, it was 5.15pm.. so we 3 went to suntec to meet with Karen.. Audrey helped me to brush up on my foundation and also applied her blusher for me (cos i never bring mine)..

We went to the the stage left section but found it a bit packed in front.. Karen's friends are on the other side so we decided to go out and enter by the other door... This is my Zpop chop on my right hand.. heehee..When we got there, the performer was Jaime, who sounded ok..

The stage right was not as packed.. maybe cos it is still early? By this time, it was the Singapore idol, Maia Lee, who was performing.. Audrey said her face is a bit fat fat.. hee.. I cant distinguish her voice from Jaime loh.. thought same person.. haha..

The early performers only got to sing 2 songs, at most 3 songs loh cos they are like not very famous ones.. Then slowly after 9pm, came the exciting part, where there are screams all around and Audrey, Chengying and me rushed to stand at the side to see better...

JJ Lin Junjie is here... He performed 3 individual songs and 1 duet with his shimei, Jin Sha.. I got tired from standing and decided to just stand down and look at him from the super BIG screen...Here's some pics i took of the screen...

After him, were all the big shots liao.. 183 Club, the Korean singer Li Dong Jian, Gigi Leung and Ah mei... President Nathan was also here at the last part, in time to see 2 or 3 performance.. He was actually there to give out the awards to the performers and the donars..

After the concert, we decided to go for supper.. were debating against Maxwell and Geylang and even walked one big round cos we wented to go catch the last train, which we missed.. Finally took bus 80 to Geylang.. Just chose one place to eat.. but i found my supper tasteless.. hee.. Got a free ride home by Audrey's sis's friends..

Reached home at 2 plus.. Supposed to chat with my friend online but he super slow in replying and i dozed off.. Conclusion is if u want to chat with me when i am sleepy, pls reply very fast.. Arigato..

Saturday, July 23, 2005

I'm crazy

I am exhausted.. meet my poly friends last nite at Bugis for dinner.. Managed to went into the new National Library building to walk walk.. Blur little me keep going up and up the levels, not realising that that the sections up there are all reference.. To quote the girl who was behind me, "Dont understand why they need to build so many floors".. Yeah loh, i was getting dizzy from going all the way up.. Anyway, very sianz to know that there is only one place to borrow books and that's in B1.. So took lift down to look look.. so many ppl very sianz...

Then went to join my friends at Hans, situated at the Open Plaza.. There was a band playing (think from RP one.. haha).. very nice.. i only had a drink while my friends, Karen and Audrey ate their dinners... Audrey was lamenting whether she should send her resume to SIA or not, cos her bf, Malcolm dont like the idea of her becoming an air stewardess and that there is a lot of politics in there.. I can only tell her that it is her choice and that in the end, she is the one who had to live with it so must decide wisely..

Then went to Bugis Junction to meet up with the rest, who were held up by work.. Doreen cut her hair and become so auntie looking.. heehee... Joycelyn went and dried her hair to be more shu nu looking.. haha.. Cheng Ying and Felicia still the same loh.. :p

All of us went V8 to eat but there was a little queue.. The service crew there are not really well trained to serve us properly.. When we first showed that we want a table for 7, the guy looked shocked and looked around and then come and tell us, no place for us.. Doreen replied, "Then what do you want us to do? Go away ah?" and he replied "Must wait loh".. &$#@^&* of cos we know must wait.. still need you to tell us meh.. and tell until like that.. The service crew all dont know courtesy one.. dont know how to use "PLEASE".. waste my 10% service charge money.. And the stupid cake i ate is dry.. must be there for quite sometimes.. not nice... This is worse than Cafe Cartel..

Anyway, after we went to Seiyu to buy something for Ms Chia, one of our Personal Mentor in poly as she is going to give birth this oct or nov.. Bought some baby stuff like the bottles, etc.. Then the rest went home via mrt, leaving only Karen and me.. cos Karen is taking a bus while i'm waiting for my sec sch friend, Jane..

Karen accompanied me to hunt for a toilet.. Found one at the food centre..i think i really cannot go places like China and all.. Local toilets already made me want to puke.. haha.. then i walked for a while with Karen.. her bus stop damn far so i cannot accompany her.. sorry dear..

Jane's colleague, Jeremy was driving.. got to know his gf, Dorcas, a temp accountant.. Went to Tanan Merah Safra resort that area to meet with other colleagues... where there is a place to drink and sing ktv, with a great view of the beach and nice sounds from airplanes flying over our heads.. I dont know the ppl there so i keep quiet while i nursed a glass of red wine... Blah, i dont like it.. i want my vodka mixed with bah bah bah anyday.. haha..

The lounge closed at 2am.. so we four left to explore other places.. went to Changi Beach Club to walk the trail and then went to see Changi Village Ah Guas.. Damn chio.. Finally, Jeremy and Dorcas went to eat nasi lemak.. Both Jane and me are dead tired.. Jeremy sent both of us home, Jane to bf's place, me to my place.. Lucky he and gf stayed in my area.. arrived home at 4.30am and bathe and collapsed with smelly hair (full of cigarettte smell)..

Friday, July 22, 2005

Last nite at K Box

I had a nice time last nite at KBox Cineleisure.. Lazy to list and link all those who went but the outing was fun.. Too bad that it was also Mr Miyagi's birthday so some of the guys went off early to Hideout to celebrate with him.. It was so funny when we 14 people (or were there more?) mass msged him to wish "Happy Birthday from the Barflies" and "Fuck you lazy bastard" when he only msged back to two nos (cos he got the two people's no in his hp mah)..

Too bad also that K Box sucks big time in English songs.. They are pirated versions (i understand cos it is hard to get original ones) and then they also dont have a lot of English songs even though the songs were placed on the list.. If you dont have it, dont put it on the list.. Period.. Simple, right.. Dont do something about it soon and all your customers will run away..

I was pretty shy and quiet (i am shu nu mah) and the times i opened my mouth is to sing.. haha.. Oh ya, Airhole is a yandao.. (no, not paid to type this.. hee :p).. And i still havent got free meal from Mandrake.. Maybe i didnt try hard enough.. And i got a new les daddy, can fight with my sugar daddy liao.. :p

Thanks to JesuaFreak for your advice.. but i still want to try it out now.. i wont admit that your words had once again thrown me down and i am so damn stupid scared that i can cry liao.. but i chose this path.. no regrets, i had told myself.. no point to regret anyway.. Btw, someone commented that your friend is very handsome leh.. someone we both know very well one.. haha.. you know what to do liao :p

Now, i still got at least 2 tags i need to do, one from Joycelyn and one from Gracey.. sorry gals, feel very tired and sianz.. will do when i am up to it.. And now i got a freaking hole on my index toe (got index toe mah?) from wearing too much heels.. ahh.. change shoes change shoes..

Thursday, July 21, 2005

What soul are you?

Got this from Vandice's blog...

You Are a Retrospective Soul

The most misunderstood of all the soul signs.
Sometimes you even have difficulty seeing yourself as who you are.
You are intense and desire perfection in every facet of your life.
You're best described as extremely idealistic, hardworking, and a survivor.

Great moments of insight and sensitivity come to you easily.
But if you aren't careful, you'll ignore these moments and repeat past mistakes.
For you, it is difficult to seperate the past from the present.
You will suceed once you overcome the disappoinments in life.

Souls you are most compatible with: Traveler Soul and Prophet Soul

The Island

I just watched "The Island" today.. with Jane and her friend(think name is Xin kai.. alamak, why i so bad with names..) Very good.. watched at Cineleisure Digital one.. The picture looked clearer and more colourful than normal pic (Clearly, i dont know the diff... haha)..

Bite my nails again during movie.. cant stop this bad habit whenever i am excited and nervous in watching shows.. i like the movie, surprisingly.. i learn something.. that one will do anything to live.. funny to me that the clones are considered the insurance policy to their owners since i am now selling insurance.. haha :p

Was practising opening to myself today.. Manager asked to present to him and i got tongue struck.. jialat.. Stressed and stressed... He asked me so many questions which i dont know how to answer.. Then tell me so much answers that i cant remember.. *Cries...

Going to Kbox with the other barflies tomorrow.. Hopefully i manage to snatch mike to sing S.H.E songs.. wahaha

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

I spent too much..

YES YES YES!!! I am now an official contracted financial planner for Manulife.. wahaha.. Still new and need to learn more about the policies and how to plan.. I need to PRACTISE!!!

Finally decided to buy some basic make-up since i need to look presentable.. Wau sia.. Bought so much that i got a free gift and free voucher.. haahaa.. I bought Maybelline cosmetics and 1 Loreal milk lotion.. Spent like $154 plus plus.. Jialat..

I like bought everything..The green bag is FOC one..

Get 8 chops ($15 on maybelline pdts per chop) and can get this $15 voucher free.

There was a Dano clearance sale at West Mall atrium yesterday so i bought some clothes cheap cheap.. All at half price like that when you bought at least 2 pieces.. Bought 2 tops so can wear to office.. Dont know why i even buy the skirt since i seldom wear it.. haha.. like that took away $58 liao..

Mom also got us a new washing machine cos the old new is a bit spoilt.. Paid using credit card so it means need to take care of the bill liao..

Jialat.. no money leh.. how to go out.. haha..

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

I am so screwed...

I am so screwed.. Damn Makan guru (called him "Sex Guru" liao) intro me to porn.. sob sob.. my innocence all gone liao.. wait a min, was i ever innocent before? Wahaha.. how i know.. maybe a bit loh.. Me SYT leh but now dont know what liao..

Saw the news on the typhoon in Taiwan.. Hopefully all is well for the ppl there.. Strangely that it is during such times that i started to appreciate Singapore for its safety and goodness.. But on other times, i will want to crap about the govt and ppl and places (go all the places till sianz liao)

Sighz, i am so contradicting that i just keep asking myself "WTF you are thinking? WTF you are doing?" over and over again..

Sunday, July 17, 2005

The day i became Ms Harry Potter

Yesterday is the FIRST Bloggers' Convention but i miss it for a good reason... because i was doing this...

Acting as Ms Harry Potter

Cute? Heehee.. But seriously, it was tired and boring.. I arrived at Bukit Batok Central Mac at 6.15am to have a quick bite and then went to start work.. Since the renovation is still going on so the book sale had to be done still at the West Mall Open Plaza.. A small dizzle had started at around 6.30am and there was only 4 people queuing up then, outside the tent..

By 7am, there is a short queue already of about 10 plus people.. Although it is not as glam as the number in Borders, it is a surprise to us staff already...there is no free ipod mini, but there is free BK breakfast for the first 50 and a $12 popular voucher for those who preordered...

I dont know what i can do, except to say " THANK YOU!! HAPPY READING!!" over and over again but that enthusiam just die out as the time passed by.. By 12 noon, i'm a bit dead.. haha.. I walked here and there, even strolling into West Mall once.. Adrian accompanied me and said there is a lot of ppl staring at me.. haha.. i told him i dont care since i cant really see them(cos not wearing specs as i want to look prettier.. women, hmphz..)

Attracting so many stares.. maybe this is not something for a neighbourhood mall...Stare and stare.. Never die before ah.. Hmphz.. but the costume is really comical to me.. the tie is not even a real tie.. it is those funky ones.. Jialat.. And my wand sucks.. All this caused $45 for 3 days.. Actually, we were supposed to rent the black cape but the stupid costume shop staff let a imposter rented it away.. Never go to a small costume store around bugis area.. Anyway, heard from my colleagues that there are a lot of costume shops along this stretch of road in Bugis area.. Wonder where that is.. hee

No one wanted to take pics with me, so i had to forced my friends to take with me...wahaha..actually got took a pic with 2 kids but that pic is in my colleague, Eng dept's head, Chee Seng's camera..

This stupid Kok Chai aka Ah Girl (by his friends) went and took his own pic when we asked him to take an pic of his gf and me..

This is his gf, who used to work with me in cd rama.. I used to tease them about their supposed r/s and they really get together in the end.. haha

Me bored and bored.. Why no one takes pic with me?

Fine!!! I take pic of myself...


I had dinner with Esther and Adrian at my favourite-soon-not-to-be place, Mac.. Here's some pics of them..

Esther deep in thoughts and acting cute.. haha

Adrian amazed and stunned by Esther..

After work, i decided to take some pics with my colleagues cos this is the first and last time i may be wearing like this....

Me and Hueyling...Stupid Chee Seng is a lousy photographer.. Take pic so slow till i fall asleep and Hueyling frowns..

And makes me want to use my wandand cast some spells on him..

Did i mention that it is my first and last time wearing this costume? Photo whoring all the way..

Pic of all the young part timers (from left: Adrian, me, Rong Hwee aka Rong ge, Huai Kit aka Why Gay?).. By the way, all this guys are cowards.. cos they are supposed to wear the costume on 15th and 17th, when i am not working but they chickened out.. COWARDS!!!

Got this balloon from one of the Blue Orange guys... Dont know why they always got a staff to help them make this balloons during one of the days.. Maybe used to attracted kids ba since they are selling educational cd roms...

I was so tired at the end that i had to decline CG's offer to go Attica and meet with the rest of the Cowboy Bar gang.. To make it up, i went drinking with Adrian kor kor and Rong ge (they are actually younger than me.. hee) The guys are very considerate and went to the HDB block near my block to drink so that i can go home easier...I only drink a sublime 4.8% alcoholic drink.. haha.. cos too tired.. Adrian drink 3 bottles and we actually mixed some of them up.. and i sipped it.. still ok.. haha.. Then Adrian went to buy one more bottle at the small 7-11 near Bukit Batok ITE and the two guys bought mashed potatoes.. Then went below my HDB block and chatted.. Mostly is the two of them talking cos they are the ones with the love problems (No bf for me so of cos no love probs.. hee).. A lot of ants around me.. Eeks.. Went home at midnight..

And last but not least...

I got my HARRY POTTER BOOK 6.. wahaha.. nitey..

Saturday, July 16, 2005


Accidentally bite myself when eating dinner... Pain!! Blood!!

Anyway, saw this cockroach cake on the I Guess I Guess I Guess show.. OMG.. and it is chocolate flavour loh.. jialat.. i will never view chocolate in the same light anymore.. I thought of Baygon and their latest ad at the bus stop with the gigantic cockroach.. Maybe they can make a cake to celebrate if their sales had improved

Wanted to google for the pic to post but cant find.. Ended up with a cockroach website and a cockroach drink.. Find a drink for Cowboy Caleb too.. wahaha...

Stupid Chris showed me this pic the other time... so disgusting loh.. Yucks..

Tired tired tired... Went Kinokuniya today and bought books ($47.90!!). One on cheesecakes (Yummy!!) and two on jewelry making.. All in chinese.. oh god.. i will need time to finish and i want to go Holland V to buy material for jewelry making.. Ahhh...

Finally cleared my school locker.. so many papers.. haha.. Saw Colleen at Yio Chu Kang Mrt station.. She was meeting a friend for dinner and currently working in a corporate sales company, in charge of events (Still dont get her job scope.. only know is sales.. wahaha)..

Supposed to report work at 6.15am tomorrow for the Harry Potter Book 6 Launch(YES!!!) but i am still watching tv and drinking soup now.. Lotus root soup!! Super nice but mom seemed to put too much carrots.. super sweet.. Sighz.. have to do all the dishes again.. i hate to be the last one to eat.. :p

Friday, July 15, 2005


I did many things yesterday..

I dressed like a teenager( I am still one mah!!) and watched Initial D with a cutie fellow blogger.. You know who u are.. Thanks for the treat :p

I met up with an ah lian blogger too after the movie and chatted at Starbucks.. She acted shy so i never asked cutie to join us.. Thanks for the iced chocolate and chat.. hee..

2 bloggers, 1 movie, 1 teenager... nice combination..


I wondered how come a lot of male RA are getting quite good-looking.. For example, Chuwen loh (but he quitted liao.. hee).. Or the cute guy i saw at Isetan Scotts promoting CK perfume and the G2000 guy at West Mall branch i saw today.. All not bad.. Go and disturb them if u can.. haha...


Btw, i passed my M5 test liao.. it's on rules and regulations for a financial advisor.. Went KTV with my future colleagues after the test.. went to Selegie Plaza K Box.. ok only loh.. haha... Then i left at 6pm to meet Jane at Yishun.. We went shopping and bought the same top at Dano (cos buy 2 got 20% off and we got similar tastes..)

Chris, you want to see the my pic in that top, right? Sorry dont have.. give u a chiobu though.. haha.. This is Jane in the new top.. Nice? The pattern cant really be seen lah..

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Then we went to buy hair products.. i only bought a hair spray while Jane bought a lot more.. Haha :p


I was late for work today cos i forgot to set alarm and none of my family know i was working.. Drink with Adrian again today after work.. haha.. Think it is becoming a habit.. The thing is both of us are sick today,, We are killing ourselves.. haha.. I got dizzy faster today as compared to last time.. why huh? dont know.. Better go sleep liao.. nitey..

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Overseas i desired..

Was having this conversation with my mom.. I asked how will she feel if i just commit suicide or just go to another country?

She said she had expected that (predicted by some fortune teller) and that i wasnt supposed to be in her life.. Haha.. My prediction by another fortune teller was that i need to go overseas.. So true, right..

Mom asked me to pls sell away my stuff if i am going to leave soon.. All my novels, toys, etc etc.. so many many things taking up her space.. Yea.. i agree.. Who want to buy my Hello Kitty wedding couples pairs that i had to stuff myself with mac meals for 8 weeks to collect one?

Game for today: Throw rocks at boys

Someone just told me that i sounded happy in my blog so i told her i will probably rant on it starting from now.. Do i sounded happy? i had no idea.. i mean i curse and swear on it sometimes when things dont go my way.. but am i happy in most of my posts?

I see some posts are like just updating about my life.. and my feelings in it are actually mixed.. i want to run away from life.. and if i dare, i will do it right now.. but how? i dont know too.. just want to get away from here and try more and more stuff.. i know myself.. or do i? i know that i dont like to do the same stuff over and over.. but i like stable jobs (do i?).. contradicting myself all the time..

i guess some gals my age will think like me.. just want to live life as it is.. dont want to work (how to get money like that?).. want to be famous.. want to do things the easy way out.. But the reality dont really permits that.. so how?

What is life to you? i think about the speech by Steve Jobs, which is very inspiring....

'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5ยข deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky โ€“ I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me โ€“ I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything โ€“ all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

Speech from http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505

So should i just go and run away? who want to come along? :p

Tuesday, July 12, 2005


After today's article in the Strait Times, i wonder who will still donate to the NKF charity show on thurs.. maybe ppl just want the prizes.. Hmm.. Who is the money for? The management or the ppl who needed it..

I will like to date that CEO.. He is damn rich.. Jialat.. Be mistress also not bad.. Although my looks a bit not like mistress but hell lah... That makes it more fun, right? haha..


Good Charlotte is performing tonight LIVE at Indoor Stadium.. wahaha..

Then The Bravery is coming in August, performing at Indoor Stadium(again!! so sianz..) on Aug 5, with electrico as Special Guests..

Get your tixs at Sistic now..

Sunday, July 10, 2005

I just realised one thing... I probably cant click with a lot of the bloggers.. why?

Cos i am a mandarin speaking person and my england-ish sucks.. big time.. and i concluded that most of them speak english.. Ahhhh.. what to do.. sianz.. Luckily auntie ah lian can speak some chinese si... hahaha.. I hate talking.. just let me sing..

Time to study.. all my rules and regulations are killing me.. do u think i can study better if i type them out?

The financial adviser should disclose and explain to the client the nature and objective of the product, including:
a) whether the product is a life policy or units in a collective investive scheme;
b) whether the product is meant for protection, savings or investment; and
c) the investment strategy of the product.

The financial advisor should disclose and explain to the client the ....

Jialat... went drinking just now after work.. Actually just went to 7-11 and buy some drinks then sit outside the store with Adrian and Rong (should be rong something but i forgot what liao and he said called him "rong".. newcomer helping out at the renovation sale and is Adrian's friend)...

Rong and i waited 1 hour for the stupid Adrian to knock off work cos he is involved in the closing.. Waited till we two decided to walk to 7-11 first when we saw that it is 11pm.. I drank red vodka(5.3% alcohol), which i drank before at thursday bbq.. And i bought Adrian a Long Island Tea(10% alcohol) since he wanted something strong.. Rong had a Tiger beer cos he preferred the taste..

I stole some sips from Adrian's drink.. Yucks.. taste like medicine from the first mouthful.. i dont like.. but i still drink 2 mouthfuls when i said that.. cos i want to get used to it..After the first bottle, Adrian went and buy another one, vodka green apple(6% alcohol) cos he wanted to try.. Me also try.. taste like basically green apple loh..

Stupid Adrian drinking and playing with phone..
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Rong busy arranging with friends for next round of drinks at Jurong East.. I can worship this guy liao.. All three of us are working tomorrow loh...
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Me practically drunk liao.. ok lah.. more like feeling dizzy and my face is pink and my lips turned red from the red vodka.. Free and natural make up sia...haha.. i think i should refrain from alcohol for the next 7 days.. haha.. lucky i came back home in one piece..

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Meet Chuwen for the first time.. i went to his shop to look for him.. just chat like 5 mins cos he was working mah.. and i tested the "no food and drink" policy on him (he did this earlier at other shops) and he didnt do anything.. To conclude, he is not a good retail asst (RA).. Kidding lah.. but the poor boy dont have camera phone bluetooth port so ms show-off decided to help him take a new pic for his blog and sent to him.. wahaha..

Ok.. he was acting cute and my photography skill is not too good.. but still ok wah..
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Ok ok.. time to sleep.. make a dare with Adrian to meet at Mac for breakfast at 8.30am.. hopefully i can wake up.. :p