Hello, I'm back.. and going straight back to Hell..

Sorry for the lack of updates.. As some may have guessed or known, I have quit my job three weeks ago on a sudden whim. Being lazy for the past eight months in the job means that I need to do all the necessary within two weeks, plus dealing with any ongoing assignments given.

I was really panicking by the start of last week when i realised that I still have tons to do and all the lunch treats were taking up a lot of time as well. Overtime was thus done to make sure everything can be completed in time. After a 7-days week of working till 10pm and two nights when i had to go home on taxi (went home at 1am and 4am on the two nights), i finally cleared everything by Sunday.. well, except for some bits and pieces here and there..

I feel a major accomplishment, from zero file to 22 files of documents. It just wakes me up on how i am so stupid not to start preparing for my leaving.. I guess i know i can do it, by hook or by crook.

I am still unsure whether I should be pleased or unhappy with the new secretary who is transferred internally to my department to replace me. First of all, she got me a farewell gift, which is kinda cute. Then she badmouth me in front of my boss today cos I was supposed to handover today but i only reached office at 10am. I am not being bad cos I am ON LEAVE today, plus reaching home at 4am didnt help. Frankly i can just walk off without handing over at all, but responsibility is in me.. Her learning attitude also didnt help. I just hope that she dont blame anything on me after i left. Sick of it.. Oh well, it is hard to handover in one day's time anyway.

Thinking back, i feel that my boss is ridiculous. Judging from the timing, he probably confirmed the transfer the day I confirmed my resignation, without informing the other two admin staff in the department. I am not sure whether he wishes to chase them away or not but it may happens due to his one-sided decision. Funny thing is that he still try to convince me to stay on, even when her transfer is being finalised. What do you want to do to the lady? Kick her back to her previous department? He seriously needs some lessons in managing staff's emotions.

And he really should check with the other bosses on the past reputation of this lady as she is in the company for more than 10 years. From what I had heard, there is no good news.. only bad ones.. Once again, I think of how kind he is as a person and how bad he is as a boss. My previous female bosses seemed like angels compared to him, as though we are on slightly weird terms (note, it is not a bad r/s, but not a good one either), they are quite firm in what they believe and know how to get it. I really fear the new lady will twist my boss around her little finger.

I mentioned to my colleague friend that i felt that I am not wanted in this department, with work that is supposedly mine being taken away. I guess i am weird for wanting more tasks instead of less. Actually i think what i meant is that I felt unwanted by my boss. He dont need me as a secretary. Anyone is sufficient to deal with my work in the department. He dont need me and I wanted to find one that does. Pretty stupid idea, right? Since in reality, no one is indispensable..

I loved the rest of the department's faculty staff though.. All of them, being so kind and patient with me, just makes me wants to work harder to assist them. Pretty sad to leave them when I am used to everything already. Plus the colleague aunties in the other department, who treated me like their dear family member.. Feel like crying for just going away.. My colleague friend actually secretly arranged a farewell party for me last Friday.. I was so surprised.. Will upload the pics once I got them... ^_^

Anyway, my new job is starting on this Wednesday and I am feeling excited and scared shitless. Seemed like dropping back to Hell. I hope i can take the late nights required there.. Oh well...

Eating habits

I realised i really eat almost non-stop lately... See my schedule..

6-7am - Breakfast at home
9-10am - Munch snacks in office, usually biscuits
12-1pm - very heavy lunch~~
3-4pm - Snacks again
7-8pm - Dinner, but controlled one..

Eating every two hours... omg..

Just yesterday, i have 2 bread with peanut butter, 1 laopo bing, 2 bite-sized "something" for snacks... and still managed to finish off a six-inch Subway sandwich, with 2 double choc cookies and 1 drink... And still feel that it is just right... ""-____-

no wonder the pants are getting tighter instead of looser... time for more healthy snacks..

Food Food, more Food...

Time for some of my favourite.. Pictures of food........


Chicken chop set from MegaBites cafe at NUS Science Canteen


Mille Feuille, dessert from Coffee Club at Harbourfront centre

Got a treat last Wednessay due to work.. And we went to Black Angus restaurant at Orchard Parade Hotel.. Nice food...


Starter: Wheel Wagon

All of us ordered the set meal, which consisted of:

1 Drink (no pic)


1 Soup: Stewed beef soup for me..


1 Main: Yummy medium rare steak for me..


1 Dessert: Chocolate cake..

I was the only one who choose cake as dessert while the rest took the ice-cream, which happened to be Kings.. Oh well, mine is of more "value"..

Then met Uncle QQ on last Saturday after his exam. Went down to morally support the gals and chuwen at Home club (Clarke Quay) as they are selling their stuff at the bazaar there.. Really broke from spending too much lately so i really cant buy anything from them.. Uncle QQ very nicely treated me dinner that day.. Yay~~ But i promised to treat him back one lunch once i got money.. :p

We went to Waraku restaurant at Central for food after walking around to find someplace to eat..
Here's what we ordered:


I ordered Sukiyaki Udon.. Nice nice wor...


Dont be deceived by the picture.. seemed that the two bowls are the same right?


Actually, Uncle QQ's bowl is damn big loh.. He can put his whole hand in if he wants.. He ate Curry Udon (regular size), btw..


Nigiri Set A - Assorted sushi.. My sushi always separated from the rice before it reached my mouth one.. need to improve my chopsticks skills.. sighz..

Seriously, I think i am going to have beef overload... Last Monday was Aston beef, then Wed was Black Angus Beef, then last Sat was Waraku beef udon.. OMG.. no more beef for the next month.. Time for stomach to rest..

Updated:
I forget to mention how stressed it is to eat with Uncle QQ.. he will constantly reminds me of how fat I am, how big my tummy looks like.. How pregnant i seemed to be.... HOW TO ENJOY FOOD LIKE THAT?? i feel guilty each time i take a bite loh... dotz.. lucky he only do it before and after meal so i still go on eating lah.. haha..

p.S. It is said (somewhere lah) that Blood A types should eat less red meat.. OMG...

自由不變 - 林俊傑 Freedom Never Changes - Lin Junjie

I like this song.. so "me"... Just need to wait for that guy who know how to cherish me, i guess ^_^



不變　不動　不轉　的時間
剎那　瞬息　片刻　永遠
用全心記住你的臉
來來回回千萬遍
突然領悟你是　如何愛我

＃(我)一直習慣簡單的　隨興的
放任的自由　不喜歡動輒得咎
不溫不火日復一日無聊的生活

＊沉默的　瞭解的　是你的溫柔
不管我錯了　對了　因為你說　那就是我

Repeat all once,＃,＊

哦～耶～那就是我

Chocolate gifts

I am sharing a private transport van with a few colleagues at my current company.. In the event that we cant take the transport that day, we usually need to inform the driver beforehand..

Old auntie me has no problem with this until recently... Last Friday and the Friday before, i totally completely forgot to sms the driver... So the whole van was waiting for me for like 10-15mins... OMG... what happens to my memory.. sighz.. I guess cos i am used to taking the van with another colleague and I usually tell her and the driver whether i am taking or not that day.. Since she was off on both Fridays, i just conveniently forgot about it.. sighz..

Guilty me decided to do something to make up to them.. And what's better than chocolates...



Sorry for the ugly packaging.. me not talented in this.. but each package consisted of 2 special dark Hershey's kisses, 1 creamy milk chocolate with almond Hershey's kiss and 1 Limited edition dark Toblerone chocolate..

Giving it out on the ride back tomorrow.. Hope they like it.. ^_^

I have idiosyncrasy

The other day, a guy friend was feeling upset after a hangover, so we met up and he sought for a hug (i promised him one before).. After the hug, he wanted a kiss (french one somemore loh) too and I found myself unable to oblige.

It was then i really confirmed that I still have the mindset of a traditional asian, despite feeling that I am a very "open" person. I cannot french kiss or have sex with a person I dont love.. though i am open to hugs.. I guess i have 洁癖 (or "idiosyncrasy", as said by my other friend when i asked him the english term).. I probably will be angry if my boyfriend do stuff with other people.. And this will probably be my weak point in the future. I do not understand how a man can have sex with other woman when no love is involved... i believe it is true that men act on lust more often, while women think of love..

So what is the limit you can tolerate?


p.S. I think i will be a jealous girlfriend so i guess it is good that i am unattached now.. And why do i have so many guy friends.. i must be too "man".. dotz..

I am Remy the Rat..

Yesterday i felt like Remy the Rat. You know the rat in the movie, "Ratatouille"? Yeah, that's the one... He loves food, so he tried all ways (eg. toasting on the rooftop, stealing spices from the old woman) to create his masterpieces , which resulted in his community losing their shelter. And I think they blame him for it. Blaming him for not able to accept his fate as a rat and collect rubbish and just be contented.

So that's what happens yesterday or to be more exact, the past one month.. Instead of concentrating on my current stable status, waiting for school to start, i went and change things again.. Obviously the family is not happy, not that they can do anything about it. They have given up hope on me.

I dont know whether it is just me... But i dont like things to be stable. I like changes, though i am also afraid of change. Contradicting, right? More importantly, i want to be "wanted", in all aspects of my life. Wanted by friends, family, boss, boyfriend.. just wanted so that I wont feel so useless sometimes.

But i really feel so guilty yesterday when he looked at me with his sad, fatherly eyes and asked, "Why cant you wait? Cant you give me a few months more?" Unfortunately, i was firm in my decision. I needed to be firm... Told him I am not young anymore. I need to think for my future and this is necessary.

And so that's why i deserved to feel emo last nite enough to go Wala Wala for a drink. And drank so much beer that i overslept on the bus home, to be waken up by the bus driver.. Soooooooo unglam.. sighz..

My inspiration

I realised i got the inspiration to write whenever i am on a bus. Listening to my ipod shuffle, with my thoughts wandering endlessly as i glanced out of the window at the passing scenery.. And I like the feeling... The ability to think non-stop, to have all those thoughts i want to share with everyone.. this is me..


p.S. i seriously need a laptop or something for me to blog on the go.. sianz..

Overseas calls

Damn it.. no, i dont know how to differentiate the local or overseas dial tone.. If you cant pick up the call, sms me... If you are overseas when you picked up my call, just tell me immediately that you are overseas now, not convenient to talk and i will hang up..

Yes, i am not that important so you can talk back to me in the "angry but yet to explode" tone, that I recognised. But I wont have to call you if you bother to reply my sms or if your office bothered to pay me.. This is the time when I am reassured again that I was right to quit my previous job..

Harassment Hell #3: The exposer

Remember the long long ago series? Forgot already? Never mind, here are the links..

Harassment Hell #1: My first kiss
Harassment Hell #2: The phone calls

I was chatting in the Bar yesterday and suddenly the topic discussed prompted me to complete this series.. Should be the final one, cause I cant recall others whether there are others or maybe too naive to notice.. So if you are bored, do have a read...


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It happened during my secondary school days. Back then, I was in the track and field team (long distance category). My teacher commanded us all to do training in our spare time. Thus one fine day, I went to the nearby hill to run in the evening...


I returned to my HDB block at around 6.30-7pm.. As I was waiting for the lift, a Malay stood behind me. Not noticing anything, we entered the lift together and alighted at the same level. Back then, most lifts only stopped at two levels besides the ground floor. As we stepped out of the lift, he first, then me...


He stopped a few steps after the lift and I just walked passed him, towards the direction where my home is.. I remember the lights at that particular spot of the corrider happened to be spoilt at that time.

It was then i heard his voice, "Miss, can you help me?". I turned around and saw the Malay, with his shorts at his knees.. Fortunately for the spoilt lights, I cant see "anything" clearly.. But the way he sounded is sooooooooooooo disgusting.. And he seemed to be panting and waiting for my response.. What do you think i did?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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I ran... Ran far far away, back home, back to safety.. I dont know why i didnt scold to get someone to help me and to catch that bastard.. Guess I was just too freaked out..

So what will YOU have done if you are in my situation?


p.S. I wonder are the three incidents the reason why i hate men so much?

Hokkien videos

Friends who know me, will know that i am a totally gone case for dialects.. I know nuts about all the dialects and barely understand whether someone is praising or insulting me..

Butttttttttttttttttttttt....... it is always fun to watch videos like these (especially since subtitles are available :p).. Enjoy it, i have a good laugh watching them.. ^_^

How to Make Love in Hokkien




Titanic in Hokkien

Stealing milk

The other day, my colleague was telling me about this case she read in the newspaper where a young couple made a police report on their landlord for stealing milk.. My first thought is "why is the couple so worked up over a few tins of milk powder such that they needed to make a police report"..

Seeing my expression, my colleague knew that I did not get the story and highlighted to me that it was "human" milk.. Then i was like thinking "Oh, the landlord must be really hungry to steal those bottles of milk in the fridge.. Hmmm..".

My colleague, seeing that I am not at all surprised, finally decided to tell me the whole picture and I was so shocked that i asked her to help me find the article for me to read.



Click on the pic to read the article if you can read Chinese words..

This case happened in a village in Malaysia. Basically, the article is talking about a young couple and the husband's mother renting a room from this 50-yrs-old landlord. As the family had stayed there for a while, they are on close terms with the landlord.

The young couple just have an eight-months-old baby. So one day, the young wife is breastfeeding her child and it happened that she did not close her room door properly. At that time, her husband was out at work and her mother-in-law had went out.

Feeling tired, she fell asleep on the bed during the feeding. Her son also fell asleep once he finished, thus exposing the young wife's breast. As the door was ajar, the landlord saw the mother and child on the bed while he walked by. Aroused, he took advantage of the situation and started sucking on the young wife's breast.

Initially, the young wife thought it was her son again. Until she realised that the force of the sucking was different and opened her eyes. Shocked at what she saw, she started beating / smacking the landlord. The landlord quickly ran out of the house, hopped onto his scooter and escaped. The wife immediately called her husband and went to the police station to report the case.

It is not clear how the case ended as no further information is given. But it did gives me a whole new meaning to the idea of "stealing milk"..

When did i turn into a boring bitch?

I was just going through my past posts as I need to select three best ones for my self-nomination for the Singapore Blog Awards.. Yeah, i am that bored and shameless.. And the prize really looked good to me.. The dateline is today, 8 June, if you wished to register/nominate..

Anyway, i was reading the old posts and i realised how much i have changed.. In the past, i was an attention-seeking whore, who posted whatever i can.. But at least sometimes, the posts are interesting.. Something happened along the way (work and friendship matters) caused me to lose the interest in blogging.. And now, when I am back.. nothing seemed right.. I have become this boring bitch and all my regular readers have disappeared.. I probably have like only 2 random ppl passing by my blog now (if i'm lucky).. Why?

I guess having some readers do make it easier for me to keep going.. Now, should i just stop? Maybe i should kill some trees and change back to writing on a book... It should be easier..

ColorGenics profile

This was done in April...

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Name: Jasmine
Date: 1/4/2008
Colorgenics Number: 13245670
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You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realisation of an intimate union in which there could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that 'True love is just around the corner' and - if you haven't found it as yet - you possibly soon will.

You are trying to improve your position and prestige - be it in your life or in your workplace. Things are, at this time, OK - but they could be better. You feel that it is essential that you break down any opposition that could possibly lurk in the shadows. You know that you are quite capable of achieving this set goal because you have to and because it is essential to your self esteem.

Being a very proud individual, you tend to hold yourself aloof pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain and pleasure. This is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional individual, one that may make a hasty decision and perhaps regret it at leisure. It is time now to break the bond of detachment and be the 'you' that you would like to be - give vent to your emotions and enjoy yourself.

It is said that we are all influenced by our environment and indeed you are no exception. It would seem at this time that even though you may be surrounded by people, you are experiencing an inner loneliness. Fortunately you are sufficiently strong minded to realise that life has a great deal to offer you and that you may miss your share of experiences if you fail to make the best use of every opportunity. You therefore pursue your objectives with a fierce intensity and are prepared to commit yourself deeply and readily. You believe that whatever you would like to do or think 'you can do' - you do! It is because of this attitude that you may be considered by others as arrogant and even conceited, but its fair to say that whatever it is that you really want out of life you will put your heart and soul into it and will not take 'NO' for an answer.

You have so many ideas that you would like to revitalise but you need to realise a stable and peaceful condition to do so. Once you can free yourself from all the aggravation and tension around you, you will make strides that may amaze you. You will not be prevented from achieving all the things you so desire.


Two Months later....

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Name: Jasmine
Date: 5/6/2008
Colorgenics Number: 21634057
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You are a very sensitive person and you try hard (perhaps a little too hard) to make favourable impressions and to be recognised by your peers. But you have that inherent need to feel appreciated and admired and you are easily hurt if all of your endeavours go by unappreciated or not acknowledged. Stop trying so hard.

Enough is enough. Nothing seems to be working out as you would like it to and it has got to the stage where you feel as if you can't be bothered anymore. The way you feel is that it would be great if you could be cut off from everything and take it easy - be it only for a short time.

You need a friend - a close friend - and you are willing to become emotionally involved with the right person, but you are very demanding and particular in your choice of partners. You are constantly looking for reassurance and it is perhaps because of this that you tend to be somewhat argumentative, but you try to hold back - careful to avoid open conflict - since this might reduce your prospects of realising your hopes of establishing a warm caring relationship.

Whatever you strive to do, something always seems to be holding you back. There is no subterfuge in you. You are a clear thinker and all you demand from life, in a relationship, is a partner whom you can trust and with whom you can, together, develop a foundation of trust based on understanding. You are your own person and you demand freedom of thought to follow your own convictions. You have no interest in 'two-timing' and all you seek is sincerity and 'straight-dealing'.

You are trying to build up your own position and you resist all external influences. You insist that you are your own person and you will not tolerate any outside interference. Decisive and proud, you are true managerial material.

Comments:
It manages to describe the situation I am in correctly for both times.. Maybe it is just me.. I tend to fit it in.. The "finding a true mate" thing is still there after two months so does it makes me sounded desperate sometimes?? But nonetheless, it is accurate for me at this pt of time.. A decision-making time.. But i am still troubled.. I hate hurting ppl i know... and i hate changes.. yet in life, change is the only constant thing.. Damn..

I am a student now...

Yay... went down to SIM yesterday to pay my first term's school fees.. I am officially a student now (part-time only though)... I am someone's direct xue mei loh since he is in the same course.. Going to disturb him to death with questions on schoolwork.. Blah~~

Jokes

It's hard to enjoy jokes when you have a poor command of English like me...

All jokes below from Ultimate Jokes Collection..

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What Is In Your Ear?

Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning.

Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel’s ear and she said, ‘”Mabel, do you know you’ve got a suppository in your left ear?”

Mabel answered, “I have a suppository in my ear?”

She pulled it out and stared at it.

Then she said, “Ethel, I’m glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid.”

suppository - a solid, conical mass of medicinal substance that melts upon insertion into the rectum or vagina

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Never Tap Your Taxi Driver’s Shoulder

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, ‘I’m sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me.’

The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn’t realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, ‘No, no, I’m sorry, it’s entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I’ve been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.’

hearse - a vehicle for conveying a dead person to the place of burial

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I still like simple jokes like this...

Ever Wonder What Raul, Ronaldo or Beckham Has For Lunch?

Raul, Ronaldo and Beckham were all at Real Madrid’s canteen. They were eating lunch and Raul said; “Tapas again! If I get tapas one more time for lunch I’m going to jump off the top of the stadium.”

Ronaldo opened his lunch box and exclaimed, “Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I’m going to jump off, too.”

Beckham opened his lunch and said, “Ham & Cheese again. If I get a Ham & cheese sandwich one more time, I’m jumping too.”

The next day Raul opened his lunch box, saw Tapas, ran to the top of the stadium and jumped off. Ronaldo opened his lunch, saw a burrito and also ran to the top of the Stadium and jumped. Beckham opened his lunch, saw the ham & Cheese and followed his two team mates. The three, seriously injured players, were rushed to hospital where their wives rushed to join them…

Raul’s wife was weeping. She said, “If I’d known how really tired he was of Tapas I never would have given it to him again!”

Ronaldo’s wife also weeping, said, “I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn’t realize he hated burritos so much.”

Everyone turned and stared at Posh.

“Hey, don’t look at me,” she said, “He makes his own lunch!”

To do or not to do...

I am struck now.. To do or not to do? I dont know.. sighz..

Quizzes

Saw these quizzes at Elvina's blog so just do it...


You're 6:49 a.m.
You're the time of day right around sunrise, when the sky is still a pale bluish gray. The streets are empty, and the grass and leaves are a little bit sparkly with dew. You are the sound of a few chirpy birds outside the window. You are quiet, peaceful, and contemplative. If you move slowly, it's not because you're lazy ? it's because you know there's no reason to rush. You move like a relaxed cat, pausing for deep stretches that make your muscles feel alive. You are long sips of tea or coffee (out of a mug that's held with both hands) that slowly warm your insides just as the sun is brightening the sky.



You're Rogue from the X-Men movies
Lots of mutants appreciate their powers, but you'd give yours up in a second for a chance at a normal life. You're friendly and considerate, but you'd rather blend in with the crowd than stand out and get attention. Like Rogue, your sense of touch is extremely powerful, so even holding hands is a huge deal for you. You're deeply afraid of hurting the people you love, so you tend to push them away when things get too intense.


Somehow these are very accurate to a point.. Sighz..

Online shopping

I just went to collect some of my online clothes last Saturday morning.. Cos i need to hide them from my mom's eyes.. Yes, she has been nagging about my spending habits..

Here's the stash of AE and Charlotte Russe clothes.. 2 items belonged to my friend, though..

My Online items


Went by La Senza on Friday and couldnt resist the 5 undies for $30 offer before I went home to nurse my weak stomach.. :p

My undies..


At the moment, i'm still waiting for my Taiwan clothes (4 pieces) and a Quad Camera to be delivered.. No more spending for now cos I'm dead broke.. :p

My new N95 phone

I got my new phone last last week... I bought N95 (normal) and got a new line.. Going to slowly change over, then informed everyone before i cancelled the old line.. Sighz.. I am having problem with the new phone.. I still dont know how to use it.. the only thing i have been using is the camera.. sighz..

Nokia box


Phone in box


N95 phone (front)


N95 phone (back)

International Museum Day 2008

31 May 2008 (Saturday) was part of the International Museum Day 2008, so yours truly me went to NUS Museum to attend a jewellery making course for the afternoon.. it costed me $8..

Basically i sucked in it.. I couldnt really do the brainstorming part and the design i managed to somehow drew, i feel is more suited for wire.. So i just anyhow twisted and turned some of the stuff to get the four items below..

3 pendants and 1 ring..


The ring..


The ring is kind of a basic thing that some of us participants did cos we have no idea what to do or we just want to pass the remaining time.. I wanted to do a cloud or something for a pendant but i had a hard time sawing through the edges to get a fluffy one so i gave up.. :p

Should i sign up for a course or something to really experience the whole process? I better go think through..

Ice Cream~~

I was craving for ice-cream yesterday so I went to buy a tub just now... along with some Wall's Magnum sticks...

Dreyer's Chocolate Cake Ice Cream


I realised i can no longer buy cheap ice-cream in tubs.. i can eat those walls and magnolia brand in sticks and cones but i prefer better ones in tubs (cos usually i am the one who finished the whole thing), like Swensens, Ben and Jerry's... So now i will only buy those above $8.. Sad.. I am going to be so broke.. Sighz.. I better stop eating so much..

Some shit on society problem..

**Disgusting post ahead.. Dont read while eating / drinking. You have been warned.**

I always have problem with my digestive system and there are times when i dont go to toilet for a whole week.. My mom helped me to buy this tea, Tong Bian Tea, that is supposed to help solve the problem..

The big packet, costed $2.60 and can be bought from those chinese herbal shops..


Consisted of 10 small pkts like below..


So far, it really helped.. I will drink it at night and then go to the toilet the next morning.. The only bad point is it may work for the whole day and you will want to run to the toilet everytime.. Thus I usually go drink on Fri or Sat night and stayed at home the next day.. Oh, and you probably will fart alot.. Depending on what you eat.. :p

Like today, i fart and the shit came out with it..Eek.. so i stained my pants and need to wash it.. it is like those slimming pills from doctors for overweight gals to control their weight and it will help you get rid of the oil by letting you shit them out.. So when you fart, the oil will come out.. No, i didnt take those pills before.. My friend did and this was what she told me.. She stopped after the uncomfortable feeling.. Imagine shitting out the oil..

Okie, back to the topic.. As i was washing my pants, i suddenly thought of the old, weak people or permanently injured people who cannot take care of themselves. If I feel so paiseh now already, what do they feel? They have to rely on their families or the nurses to help them in their daily routine... To clean them up when they shit, to feed them, to take of them throughout.. How will they feel?? Sad, helpless, useless?? A burden to their families??

As the society advances, more and more educated people become less emotionally attached to their families.. We can see elderly being thrown into old folks' homes, where their families will visit rarely, if not never.. Why? Because we feel disgusted that we have to clean our parents' shit? Or we are too overwhelmed by life's demands that we do not even have time for our families anymore?

I dont know. Thinking of how my mother cleaned up my shit for me when I was a baby till a young child and yet, I know i am reluctant to do it for her when they are old.. Do i not love her as much as she love me?? I feel so guilty now.. And i need more time to think through.. It's weird how a little shit can triggered so much emotions sometimes..


p.S. I probably should censored all my photos now.. I have lost all my "image" after this post, not that I have much to begin with.. Throw face throw face.. :p